Prom

Tonight was the annual year 11 prom. It is always a lovely evening but it is also highly political and I was advised by a colleague that certain protocol must be observed. The rules are as follows:

1/ Dodgy hair extensions must be worn at all times.

2/ You must apply a streaky Rimmel tan.

3/ Make up is a necessity and you should ensure it is at least one inch thick.

4/ Following from the previous rule you must leave foundation lines just under your chin.

5/ Your hair needs to be backcombed to within an inch of its life.

6/ Wear impossibly high heeled shoes which are impossible to walk in and have only been on your feet once before when you first tried them on.

7/ Wear the biggest fattest “gypsy wedding” style frock – preferably in the most garish and unflattering colour imaginable.

8/ Arrive in an impressive mode of transport such as a fire engine or a retro school bus.

9/ Arrive drunk and leave early to get ready for the after party

10/ Remember you only have one prom so make the most of it – tomorrow you will have to join the working world like the rest of the world.

I went with the boring classy/semi professional look. My make-up was tasteful and enhanced rather than desguising my appearance. I arrived in my very unimpressive but well loved Peaugeot. I walk beautifully in heels! I was sober as a judge. After prom I came home to get tucked into bed. I screwed up the pillar of the community image during cloakroom duty when my colleague and I decided that from behind our window we could recreate such comedy classics such as “walking down the stairs”, “the escalator” and “the elevator” it is worth noting that the head teacher was less than impressed with our efforts. I will repeat the same process every year that I remain a secondary school teacher.

But it was a lovely night and my Drama bunnies looked really grown up and definitely red carpet fabulous – SO PROUD!!!