Disciplinary Hearings

8 10 2013


This evening FFOMC and I were chatting to a friend about the disciplinary processes of major retailers.

I know what you’re thinking – that’s very serious…

But no, we found that we were in agreement about the fact that the approach to even minor infringements and the language used to describe the procedures was quite melodramatic. With that in mind we considered how the use of music could further enhance the experience.

It cannot be such a stretch on resources for a company already in possession of a tannoy system to have some theatrical type transmitting news of such calamities to the store? I thought that the addition of an electric keyboard could provide the odd Da…da…daaaaaaaa sound affect to create atmosphere and set the mood.


Imagine how much more entertaining a visit from loss prevention would be if heralded by the Jaws music…

…or a manager catching a staff member in the act of misconduct being rewarded by the familiar Eastenders theme.

The Benny Hill music would make a great choice when chasing thieves from the premises.

Being booked in for a disciplinary hearing should surely be accompanied by the sound track to the Bill.

There must be a million possible scenarios that would be improved by the appropriate musical accompaniment.


What options would you add?