The future father of my children…has Man Flu

26 09 2013

Man Flu

After a very successful open evening I returned home at the unreasonably late time of 9:30pm to discover FFOMC flat on his back on the sofa, nose streaming, eyes puffy and showing all the symptoms of man flu.

As any woman who has ever had to put up with this condition will know – the symptoms go way beyond a sniffle, temperature and slightly raised temperature. In fact according to the great little chart I discovered online, only 2% of the time spent by the sufferer are devoted to experiencing flu like symptoms.

A further 17% of the time spent suffering this condition is devoted to the incessant groaning and writhing of a man suffering. This is an important element as it guarantees that the woman in said man’s life will not have a moment when she can forget that her beloved is feeling poorly. Of course any acknowledgement by the woman of the groaning and writhing will lead naturally to the16% of a typical man flu when the man immerses himself in the process of describing the symptoms in detail, down to colour and consistency of mucus, scratchiness of the throat and suggestions of the favoured brand of ice cream that is believed may help alleviate the symptoms.

Now that the woman is fully in the picture of the gravity of the situation and the high risk of an early demise that accompanies the condition she is of course obliged to  address the 25%  of the man’s time demanding sympathy.

As FFOMC has sadly had man flu before and I have had an extremely long day at school resulting in a lower tolerance threshold than usual, I am going to bed enabling him to treat his ailment by taking up residence in front of the TV.

Good night all – I wish you good health and the absence of man flu in your own homes – but beware, I understand it is VERY CONTAGIOUS.

 

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LUPAS

26 04 2013

LUPAS

I discovered an image shared by a friend on Facebook today raising awareness of the condition, LUPAS.

I have dutifully shared this but to be honest it is not a condition I know a lot about despite the fact that I myself was diagnosed over 10 years ago.

Embarrassingly, most of my knowledge about the condition comes from American TV series House starring Hugh Laurie. My understanding from this show is that although doctors test regularly for LUPAS, it is almost never what the patient is actually suffering from.

Except sometimes it is…

LUPAS is an autoimmune disease that can be fatal. Basically the immune system becomes confused and attacks healthy body tissues sometimes including organs. I found the following list of common symptoms on the internet posted by a medical professional recently diagnosed with the condition:

SYMPTOMS OF LUPAS

  • Painful or swollen joints and muscle pain
  • Unexplained fever
  • Red rashes, most commonly on the face
  • Chest pain upon deep breathing
  • Unusual loss of hair
  • Pale or purple fingers or toes from cold or stress (Raynaud’s phenomenon)
  • Sensitivity to the sun
  • Swelling (edema) in legs or around eyes
  • Mouth ulcers
  • Swollen glands
  • Extreme fatigue

Before my diagnosis I visited my GP about the fact that I was losing my hair. At the time I honestly thought he would recommend more iron in my diet or some other smple fix for what I viewed as a trivial asthetic problem.

I was not expecting a biopsy.

The diagnosis shocked me at first, but I resolved not to research the condition furthur. I do not want to ever be defined by an illness. I refuse to allow a medical condition to hinder my day to day life. My Mother gets most upset with me about this and thinks I should slow down and when I am rundown that I should consider whether my condition is playing a part. When I was first diagnosed I used anti-malarial medication  that made me feel ill and I stopped eating – screw that! Who wants a cure that is worse than the original condition? I do not want any furthur information about LUPAS as I do not want to suffer imagined symptoms simply because I have read them on a website.

However I do suffer from fatigue and occassional depression because of this condition, I am extremely sensitive to extreme temperatures and I have a bald spot on the center of my head where hair will never grow back due to clinical scarring. It is difficult when you have a condition that is invisible to the rest of the world and when I try to explain it, the most I can say is “I get cold in winter, hot in the summer and feel tired sometimes”. Who doesnt?

God willing I will never experience the more agressive symptoms associated with LUPAS, as if I do I may need to confront this condition head on. But for now it will not become who I am and I will continue to push myself accepting it as a minor irritant but not a major issue in my life.