Go, go, go Joseph

31 08 2014


I am from a very musical family. So perhaps it was inevitable that naming my son after a musical would result in some spontaneous outbursts of song when my whole family came to visit shortly after Joseph’s birth.

However my sister went one step further. A week after my family had returned to Northern Ireland I received a parcel in the post. It contained the baby-grow pictured above and a card with the following rewrite of the famous Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice collaboration.


Go, go, go Joseph, you know what they say.

Come on wee Joseph, stop eating ALL day,

Sha-la-la Joseph, Mummy is tired,

And Daddy is knackered, more night sleep is required:


Go, go, go Joseph you know what we say.

Our baby Joseph grows bigger each day.

Sha-la-la Joseph you’re doing fine.

And with your new dream-grow you’ll be ahead of your time.


Go, go, go Joe!

My family are nuts – my poor boy hasn’t a chance 😉


10 12 2013

changeI have always loved the following quote:


God give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Royal Mail

2 12 2013

Royal Mail

I am a massive fan of Royal Mail! It is one of the organisations from which I have received the best customer service over the years.

However I have one or two issues with the current system. Unfortunately these are not only making me a little more disgruntled but I am sending less and less mail with every passing year.

In the age of text messaging and emails it is sad that the humble letter is fast becoming a thing of the past. I miss paper and pen – slower than using ICT but in many ways more reliable, the decline of these simple items is in my mind one of the reasons that literacy in children is on the decline with increasing dependence on electronic devices rather than a more personal medium.

I posted most of my Christmas cards over the weekend. I say most because I had to hold back 5 slightly larger letters. Despite having a book of stamps in my wallet I could not risk using them to post letters a fraction bigger than the majority of my mail in case they counted as large letters and as such needed a higher postage amount. Gone are the days when a first class stamp would be sufficient for the task and a trip to the post office was not required to mail a simple card or letter. Why not have set prices somewhere in the middle that cover any size of letter? I have actually used internet sites such as Funky Pigeon and Moon Pig rather than buy my own cards as that way I know I don’t need to worry about postage. While the personalised element of these sites does appeal to me, it does once again rob me of the joy of putting pen to paper myself.

The second thing that irks me is the opening hours of the depots particularly at this time of year.

With the increased number of parcels and packages – although in truth I am not sure what the difference is between the two – and the reason for non delivery being peoples need to be at work to pay for said items, it seems a tad unreasonable that the allocated slots in which you can pick up a parcel are during the traditional working day. For my husband and I, any delivery not made on a Saturday does not reach us, we get the irritating red card through the door and need to organise to pick it up at our local collection point. On a good day we can just squeeze in a trip en route to work but as the office closes at 1ish there is no hope of doing it in the late afternoon or early evening on our return journey.

Royal mail you are sooooooo good! Don’t ruin it with these irritating flaws which are surely beneath you.



Jamie Dornan to play Christain Grey

4 11 2013

Jamie DornanCould fans of Fifty Shades of Grey finally celebrate a definite casting choice to play Christain Grey in the film version?

I would certainly welcome a Northern Irish actor claiming the role especially as Dornan is a former Calvin Klein model. Best known as the Huntsman from ABC’s fantasy Once Upon a Time and Paul Spector in BBC2’s drama The Fall.

One concern for fans counting down to the Summer release date could be that after Charlie Hunnams turning down the role because of scheduling conflicts, Dornan himself has only a tight timeframe in which to film his erotic scenes before starting filming for the next series of The Fall.

This casting choice has certainly been met with less contraversary that Charlie Hunnam but with filming due to start in November Dornan has not got much time to learn his lines.

Naming the bump

27 10 2013


Long before parents-to-be discuss whether their growing baby will be a George, Mary, David or Susan; they are faced with the decision of how to address the “bump”. This is especially important before the sex of the child is known as the term “it” can hardly be considered a term of endearment designed to help parents-to-be engage with their unborn child. Nor is “the baby” compatible with the growing tendency in modern language tendency to abbreviate and shorten everything.

Readers who read of my first glimpse of my child will be aware that my bump is known as LUMPY.

As is probably the case with many pregnant women, I did not consciously choose a name for my bump – if anything it sort of chose itself.

In the earliest days of my pregnancy I received a humorous text message from one of the few people who knew my news from the very beginning who signed off with “take care of Lumpy” – as this was light hearted, and endearing it stuck.

However if I had any reservations then a clawing memory of another “Lumpy” eventually surfaced a few days ago. As an avid Winnie the Pooh fan – ever since the day my Datty brought me home my very own golden furry teddy bear adorned with the familiar red jumper – I was delighted to remember that Lumpy is also the name of the heffalump who befriends Pooh and the gang in the 2005 Heffalump movie.

So for the next 6 months I will be playing host to Lumpy in my Tummy – this could so easily be a song title from the Winnie the Pooh franchise – until FFOMC and I settle on something much more sensible and befitting our offspring.

Who will replace Charlie Hunnam?

21 10 2013
Love this fan art movie poster mock up.

Love this fan art movie poster mock up.

I am devastated that Charlie Hunnam will no longer be playing Christain Grey of Fifty Shades fame.

Having totally embraced the idea of the 33 year old Sons of Anarchy star in what will surely be a defining role, I eagerly scan the internet looking for confirmation that a suitable alternative has stepped up to the challenge.

It would appear that a furthur casting announcement is imminent but any plans for a release date of August 2014 now seem unlikly.


Perhaps the whole thing is some sort of seduction ploy by the film makers to indulge fans of a masochistic persuasion, by teasing and tormenting them during the build up much like Grey himself.


Childhood Fears

3 10 2013

Tonight I have taken inspiration from a blogging challenge list and I have created a list of the five top things that have frightened me since childhood:

OOMPA LOOMPA’S: They are bloody terrifying! Don’t even get me started on the song. I made the mistake of revealing this fear to a class I taught once . The next time I saw them I was irritated to discover that about three of my boys were lurking in the corridor outside my class. When I went out to admonish them for being late I discovered them crawling on the floor with their shoes placed beneath their knees, wearing homemade Oompa Loompa , masks. The kids giggled insanely while I hid under the piano in the hall. They scare me soooo much I cannot even bear to attach a picture of the orange deamons.

MOOMINS: I don’t know why! They make weird noises and have no mouths.



FISH: When I was under ten years old my parents took me to a massive water park. In the reception area while Mum and Dad paid for our family ticket I amused myself by watching fish in the large tanks in the foyer. I was intrigued by the idea that all the fish were local and swimming in the beach adjacent to the water park – I had been swimming there a day earlier. As I pressed my nose up to the glass just in time for a large eel to pass the glass right in my field of vision. I haven’t liked or eaten fish since.



NEEDLES: This is an entirely rational fear. Substances being put into or taken out of my body via a needle is not natural and rarely good news. Whether its antibiotics to cure an illness or the removal of a blood sample to check my general health – it’s never good news. It also hurts and one must trust that the medical practitioner is using a clean needle and is well trained and empathetic.



DENTISTS: No further explanation should be required but should you feel you need one:


The future father of my children is…a bookworm

25 09 2013


When he is not stealing cars, committing bank robbery and engaging in dubious activities with hookers on GTA5; FFOMC spends much of his time with his nose in a book.

This is a hobby of which I am entirely supportive. He is extremely well read and enjoys a wide range of genres (although fantasy is without a doubt his favourite). The ability to lose oneself in a good book is a pleasure and an opportunity to escape in alternate realities and FFOMC can become really absorbed in his reading material.

He is currently working his way through a blogging challenge answering questions about books he has read and is on Day 10: a book you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving. I love a good book myself and he has made some great recommendations over the years we have been together and has bought me some great presents such as The Hobbit, The Witching Hour and he even indulges my interest in Batman comics and graphic novels from time to time. Without a doubt, it was his suggestion that I read Terry Goodkind’s series, The Sword of Truth that has given me the most pleasure as a reader.

Of course as is the case with many hobby’s it can be irritating on occasion particularly on holiday when he can lose 8-10 hours, often totally forgetting that I am even there.

We spoke recently about our favourite childhood books. If he is to be a future father then it is probably best that we share the same ideals when bringing up our future children. We are in total agreement about classics like The Hungry Caterpillar, Meg and Mog and of course the Mr Men and Little Miss books. However he does not quite share my passion for Peace at Last and Where’s My Hat, and has berated my poor parents for not introducing me to Dr Seuss. I cannot abide anything by Roald Dahl and I doubt he cares much for The Worst Witch or Sweet Valley High.

No doubt our future children will have their favourites, and just to try us, they will bear no resemblance to our own nostalgic attachments to books read to us by our own parents, but I feel we should ensure that they experience the joy of reading and being read to.

What is your favourite childhood book and why?


Grand Theft Auto 5 Widow

17 09 2013


I would not generally describe FFOMC as the “bouncy” type, however tonight he bounced through the front door at the end of his working day full of the joys of spring and giddy as a teenager.

At midnight last night customers queued at gaming stores to acquire their copy of the latest in the GTA series.

FFOMC did not join the midnight fans but arrived home clutching his own copy that he bought before work. I made sure I checked his bag for scorch marks as this game appeared to be burning a hole in its canvass prison throughout the day begging to be played.

The first order of business after a beaming explanation of the nights entertainment was to complete the set up in the computer room, transferring cables and consoles, downloading goodness only knows what and readying his man-cave for what I anticipate will be a long night.

A short amount of time was allocated for a hasty dinner but I get the impression that had it taken longer than 25mins from his walking through the door that his would have been enjoyed on a tray and most definitely in the other room.

I have often joined the ranks of women abandoned by their partners on “new release day” and have resigned myself to the temporary (I hope) position of GTA5 Widow. Although I am hopeful that the position will be rendered more tolerable by FFOMC’s acquisition of a set of headphones so I cannot hear what I can only describe as the sultry drone of “ghetto slang” through the ever so thin walls.




Charlie Hunnam to play Christian Grey

10 09 2013

Charlie-Hunnam 1

When FFOMC casually informed me that Charlie Hunnam has been signed to play sexy billionaire Christian Grey of Fifty Shades fame I responded with a resounding:




While I would not claim to be a fan of Sons of Anarchy, FFOMC has followed it for some time and I often find myself sneeking a look over my laptop screen at his sculptured body, displayed on our HD wide screen TV.

Charlie-Hunnam 5

It does not take a huge stretch of the imagination to see why this 33 year old actor captures my interest; his shoulder length hair and goatee beard place him firmly in the category of “my type”.

I was horrified to discover that there has been some backlash and even an internet petition demanding that this role be recast. So for anyone unsure of his suitability I have attached a couple of pictures.

Charlie-Hunnam 4

He can certainly rock a suit and capture the essence of a billionaire businessman.

Charlie-Hunnam 2Without their usual twinkle, his piercing eyes could reveal the tortured origin story of this deeply damaged character.

Charlie-Hunnam 3And he looks fantastic without his shirt.

I cannot wait to see Fifty Shades on the big screen and I am confident that Hunnam will deliver a captivating performance as ole “twitchy palms”.