The future father of my children is…Cat Man?

31 08 2013

Cat Man

I know it’s not Wednesday but I couldn’t resist an unscheduled post about FFOMC.

He is a man of many talents but his latest “title” had me giggling for some time this morning.

His professional role has changed over the years he has spent with his company. He has moved location several times, been on numerous secondments and supported with tasks such as tills testing.

The greatest changes have taken place over the last year with his role continuously evolving following a period of economic uncertainty in his world of work. Despite some worrying times about a year ago, things are much more stable now and his role, although it is still developing seems to be more secure and potentially more permanent.

A sure sign of this is the change made to his job title on his most recent payslip. He is apparently a “categories manager”, whatever that means. However his job role is abbreviated on his payslip to the esteemed position of “CAT MAN“.

I hope they will be making some reasonable adjustments in order for him to perform his duties appropriately. I have the following suggestions:

  • A scratching post at his desk to stop him from damaging office equipment and paperwork with his claws.
  • A saucer of milk to be provided at break times to replace the “trolley” woman.
  • Instead of traditional bonus rewards good work should be acknowledged with a tickle of his tummy or a scratch behind his ears.
  • A whole office ban on balls of yarn or other distracting and irrelevant stimuli.
  • Flea medication to be added to any existing professional medical benefits.

 

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