Les Mis Teaching Parody

22 07 2013

music-notes

A while ago I mentioned a little writing project I was working on.

Tonight I can finally reveal that I was re-writing the lyrics to Les Mis famous song, “At the End of the Day” as a teaching parody to be performed at the head-teacher’s leaving do. The performance tonight went realy well and the jokes seemed to be well received by my colleagues.

I am really pleased with the performance of my small team – only 5 of us performed though we were attempting to represent the entire staff voice.

My lyrics are below and if you want to sing along, the karoke version can be found here:

 

Les Mis workers

Les Miserable – Teaching Parody

ALL: At the end of the year the head teacher’s retiring. And it’s clear that this college will not be the same. But before you go away, there is plenty that we want to say, you are lucky to escape the future of teaching. Bet you’re glad that you’re leaving.

Teacher 1: At the end of the day we all feel overloaded. Just remember your thoughts as a new NQT. AFL, PSHE and now it’s SMSC. Raise your hand if you agree its C.R.A.P.

ALL: Brings us all close to crying

Teacher 2: And don’t get us started on all of the marking. This new bloody system is driving us mad. 30 hours that I spent, marking books for all of year 7, you must tell them what went well and advise them how to do better, I need to get away, at the end of the day.

Teacher 3: At the end of the day each child is different. And you need to consider each one of their needs. Thirty children in each class, who need guidance and teaching and learning but despite the work that we do it’s never enough.

ALL: To deserve an outstanding.

Teacher 4: Have you heard that Ofsted might come in today? Pray in your lessons they don’t come your way. I trust that your folder is ready to hand and your lessons are planned for all of their stay.

Girls: And the boss he never knows how much time we all spend on our laptops. And we don’t have any time for our family at home. They forget what we look like!

ALL: At the end of the day we don’t have any money and our buildings are coming apart at the seams. What we spend is ill advised like a roof for the path between buildings, while the ceilings back inside are leaking all over the children & we cannot afford to pay, at the end of the day.

Teacher 5: Remember when planning your enterprise trips, it’s important for you to look at the risks, but coach bookings are handled by Joan not on your own & that takes the piss.

Teacher 1: Got a letter this morning, its a real nasty business. I forget to take registers 2, 3 and 4. Is there anyone else here who’s worse than C Driver  I’ll bet you a fiver, they’ll show me the door.

Teacher 2: Our students cannot read or write and their books are quite a fright, we need a whole school plan of action. We’ll introduce a learning loo, so that staff here can learn too while they do a number two. Stroke of genius yes my friends working life just never ends even when you do a poo.

ALL: At the end of the day we don’t care about Ofsted. They came and they went and we’re still only GOOD. All the training and planning and prep – and still no one think’s of the children yes it’s easy to forget that that’s why we’re here. Year after year.

Teacher 1: It’s my fault that this year there was no school production. My line managers off and I’m finding it tough. But you were there at the year 9 performance, the candle light soiree – is that not enough?

Teacher 4: (to Assistant Principal 1) At the end of the year you will get a great office.

Teacher 3: (to Assistant Principal 2) I cannot believe you just gave it to him.

ALL: While you’re sunning yourself on a beach or swanning around on a cruise ship, think of us here on the breach, no let up for even a second and we’re all feeling jealous of you – and the things that you’ll do.

Teacher 5: I do not understand at all, the plasma flat screen on the wall, of your office there in Kingston. Do you not have enough to do? Please believe me we all do we have no time to watch TV. Even at the end of term all the children still must learn we cannot show them DVD’s.

ALL: We will think of you fondly long after your gone

Retirement starts today.

Right JO On your way!

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