The future father of my children…co-founder of Hells Cupcakes

5 06 2013

hells cupcakes

Alcohol is responsible for some of the most awesome-tastic ideas ever. Hells Cupcakes is probably the most inspired and convoluted alcohol induced strokes of genius of all time.

My memory of how the idea took seed and grew in a wondrous life plan is a little hazy, but I think it started with a hoodie.

The hoodie in question is pictured below:

SOA Hoodie

FFOMC has had this item on his wish list for some time now. Our good friend already has one and it is the cause of many envious glances. Not only is our friend currently sporting shoulder length blond hair and a pretty full on beard but he is built like a wrestler. He just suits “the biker look” and as he will be learning to drive a motorcycle after the summer he is well on his way to becoming a biker.

In our alcohol induced stupor we decided that he and FFOMC (who is taking the somewhat “less bad boy” approach of learning to drive a car) should start their own club. Had the conversation ended there – no one would have ventured complaint.

But alcohol is a strange mistress and once the idea had taken seed it took on a life of its own.

However as our friend is the devoted keeper of two kitty-cats (not entirely in keeping with the bad boy biker image we were inventing for him) and as such he was covered in white cat hair. We decided that in order to maintain his street credentials it would be best to say they were from his pet wolf; FANG. As he already has a wolf tattoo – this seemed an entirely credible story – at the time.

FFOMC, as regular readers will know, has aspirations to leave work and become a house husband one day – a topic about which we are not entirely in agreement. Our good friend is currently unemployed and looking for work. As childcare is so expensive and FFOMC and I have no idea how we could ever cope financially should we ever become parents, I had the outstanding idea that our friend become the FNOMC – future nanny of my children.

FNOMC has protested that he does not believe himself suitable for the role. But having identified that he has a love of daytime television including shows during the day that would be appropriate for an infant audience and his talent for baking the most amazing cupcakes – I think I am on to something. Surely he would be satisfied to be in employment and should FFOMC absolutely insist on becoming a house husband – they could at least devote the time together to combining my child care needs with setting up their biker club.

The name of course is crucial. To say we agreed would be a gross misrepresentation (of any aspect of the conversation to be honest) but I think “Hells Cupcakes” was in the running. We even discussed the logo of a wolf eating a cupcake embossed on the back of heavy leather biker jackets.

Even in the dawn of sobriety I can see the benefits of coming to some sort of arrangement to ensure that we pursue Hell’s cupcakes – otherwise known as my own personal nanny service.




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