10 Steps to amazing weight loss in under 6 months!

19 04 2013

drop a dress size

Just follow these simple steps to drop a dress size in just under 6 months and you to can look and feel as good as I do!

STEP 1: Arrive at work after your summer break only to discover that your line manager, (who has been successfully running the department with OUTSTANDING results for over 30 years), has been signed off ill and will be absent for a minimum of 4 months.

STEP 2: Foolishly agree to step into her shoes and take on her job role on a temporary basis.

STEP 3: Negotiate for several months before receiving any financial recognition that usually accompanies the additional responsibility, stress and workload.

STEP 4: Wave goodbye to any sensible or managable work/life balance.

STEP 5: Recognise that all of the paperwork you had previously rejected as an arduous and pointless waste of your personal time, is in actual fact – the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT aspect of your job role.

STEP 6: Accept that it is your destiny to remain on your laptop until midnight EVERY night. To maintain this you must be prepared to substitute you preferred (expensive) energy drink with a low quality, store only brand, that is inexpensive – but extremely high in caffeine.

STEP 7: Invest the money you save by buying additional vitamin suppliments and high quality concealers in bulk as you will need these to disguise your general ill health, pasty complexion, skin blemishes and constant exhaustion (evident because of the ever growing bags under your increasingly sleepy eyes).

STEP 8: Ditch your entire wardrobe as your waist-line will decrease at an alarming rate.

STEP 9: Check out upcoming job opportunities for malnourished size zero models.

STEP 10: Realise that without noticing; you have dropped an entire dress size and at least a stone in weight without even trying (in the process, rendering your entire wardrobe virtually useless). As everyone you come into contact with will tell you that you are looking extremely well, you will of course accept your new svelt figure. Pacified by this, you will spend an increased amount of your morning attempting to hide your sunken cheeks, ignore your contast hunger pangs and find the (previously) tightest fitting outfit that you own, all the while expending a lot of energy trying to remember how on earth you ended up in this position.

Or otherwise: Live healthy, be strong and realsie that there is more to life than work!




4 responses

24 04 2013

Hey there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group?
There’s a lot of folks that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Many thanks

24 04 2013

Not at all. Glad you are enjoying it enough to share!
Be sure to send me a link so I can direct my readers to you as well πŸ™‚

29 04 2013

Simply wish to say your article is as astounding.

The clarity on your post is simply great and that i could assume
you’re an expert on this subject. Well together with your permission let me to clutch your RSS feed to stay updated with imminent post. Thank you a million and please keep up the gratifying work.

30 04 2013

Glad you enjoyed it πŸ™‚ Far from an expert I’m afraid just going moving from day to day like everyone else trying to stay sane.

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