The future father of my children … wants to be a ‘HOUSE HUSBAND’

20 02 2013

House husband

Despite only being in his early 30’s my husband’s favourite topic for discussion EVERY morning when I drive him to the train station – is his retirement.

He seems to feel now that I am the main wage earner in our household that he should be permitted to give up work and stay home. I have pointed out that he would be unable to draw his pension just yet, but he is undeterred. Recently though he came up with a new strategy that would enable him to hang up his shirt and tie forever – he wants to be a house husband.

Now this is not something that I should simply reject without due consideration. However while I can see both pros and cons of this plan of action, I am not entirely sure that he understands exactly what is involved in being a house husband.

There is a lot to be said for having one parent stay at home to look after the children, and it makes sense that it be whoever has the smallest wage. We could save on the astronomical cost of child care and he could enjoy spending time with our children in the early years of their lives – a privilege denied many fathers.

I would be delighted in many ways to see him taking sole responsibility for looking after babbykins, cleaning our home and making sure there was a cooked meal waiting for me on my return from work every evening.

However I suspect that my interpretation of a ‘house husband’ wildly differs from the ‘World of War craft’ extravaganza that he has in mind. In his head the child will sleep for 90% of the time, be easily pacified, require minimal time and attention while he breezes through about 1hrs worth of housework each day and have the rest of the time to do as he wishes, after all “What do all these housewives do with their days?”

I doubt he has considered how regularly a newborn needs to be fed or the increased workload for the washing machine when coping with ongoing spit-up, nappy changes etc, and for that matter I would question whether he knows how many nappies a baby goes through in a day or how many cuddles are required to stop the crying that occurs for no apparent reason. Has he considered the endless hours he will need to spend watching Tweenies and Sponge Bob or some other nonsense concocted to drive new parents insane? What about playgroup? I am not sure how comfortable I would be if he was the one Dad in a room full of hormonal new Mums, especially if as a hormonal new Mum myself I would be shipped off back to work.

Not to mention that I would be the one to have undergone the major trauma on my body only to go rushing back to the fairly stressful environment of Secondary education. Instead of using my time to bring up my own child I would continue to be subjected to other people’s children – hardly a relief from the responsibility but more an endurance test by day followed by much of the same in the evening when hubby would no doubt expect to hand over the torch!

Who would do night time feeds? With a full day of child care behind him would he ‘man-up’ and leave me to get much needed sleep? If I am to work full time am I absolved from the responsibility of breast feeding? What if breast is actually best?

If he is truly intent on remaining in the house would he ever leave it? Will the pram that will no doubt cost a fortune simply collect dust while he shouts at computer generated images of his ‘online friends’ while juggling our offspring and a variety of stuffed animals in one arm? Does he understand the need for walks in the park, feeding the ducks, swimming, coffee mornings with other ‘Mums’ or jingle tots?

The jury is most definitely out on whether the FFOMC should be permitted to be a stay at home Dad and deliberations may take some time.

For earlier posts about FFOMC check out:

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3 responses

20 02 2013
Liz Whattingham

yeah if he wants any advice from someone doing just that – suggest that he speaks with Barney. I’m sure he’ll soon realise that ‘house husband’ isn’t as great as he may first think… LOL 🙂 x

20 02 2013
zehirablog

LOL – our blokes do live on cloud cuckoo land sometimes 🙂
Did Barney also think it would be a walk in the park?

20 02 2013
zehirablog

Comments from non blogger on this topic:
“If he is happy being at the beck and call of a small person for quite a few years then more the power to him its not all playstation while they nap or anything like that; there is always a nappy to change, a bottle to clean or make up, there is teething, colic, high tempuratures. my xbox only got played in the evening and that was if I was awake. As they get older and start to move you have to start protecting your own belongings from a wandering child and oh yea the house always needs cleaning!”

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